Life can be painful sometimes, people can be cruel. I assume that God allows us to endure hard times for His reasons – something needs to be learned or experienced. Something needs to change. When you feel that the ones who love you the most hurt you the worst, it takes your breath away. It shocks you. It hurts so badly and you’re not sure how to make it stop. In a perfect world we could check in to the local ER and request a prescription for whatever heals heartache. Realistically, if this has happened to you then you already know all to well that this world is no where near perfect.
My natural instinct is to withdraw. Isolate myself, shut down – in an attempt to hide from the pain I suppose. I wanted that so badly, hoping that it would all go away like a bad dream. I have to admit that I even tried that route. Anyone with children knows that as mothers we no longer have that luxury though. I couldn’t sit around crying and feeling sorry for myself like I wanted to. I had the most beautiful little girl bubbling with laughter in front of me, telling me to get up and live life. I’m not going to lie – a lot of what I’m doing is faking it until I make it, but if it weren’t for my daughter I probably wouldn’t have the desire to even fake it.
She dressed up in this adorable cape and mask today and we went outside to play in the crazy wind that preceded an upcoming storm. The moment was profound to me in numerous ways. Here I was in the middle of a massive “storm” in my life, watching Kylie laughing, twirling and enjoying life – knowing a real storm was on the way. It was then that I realized that this too will pass. This “storm” in my life is temporary, life will go on.
At that moment I thanked God for Kylie and her ability to “save” me. I hope that one day she will realize how much of a hero she is to me. As I thanked God, I felt Him gently reminding me that the person that loves me the most will never, ever, EVER hurt me – because that person is Him.