This is me.

I am April.  I am not perfect and I will never pretend to be so.  Here are some of my faults and sins in my life:

I don’t always trust God and I am not quick to pray when I should be.  *  I’m forgetful  *  Sometimes I can be pretty inattentive  *  I’m a chronic procrastinator  *  I’m naive and too trusting  *  I’m messy – cleaning has never been my strong point  *  I’m terrible at calling people and keeping in touch.  *  I’m late for everything.  always  *  I don’t always love the Army life.  Sometimes I do, sometimes I despise it.  *  I have ended friendships that I shouldn’t have and I have protected some unfairly  *  I have made enemies  *  I cuss and I like it  *  I’m quick to give advice and hesitant to take my own  *  I’m not a great planner, I don’t always think ahead  *  I do not have a perfect marriage, I have not always been faithful  *  I can’t cook.  *  I lie  *  Some days I don’t want to be married at all anymore  *  I’m not always a great mom  *  I isolate myself when I’m struggling.  I push people away  *  I can be selfish  *  I don’t have as high of a self esteem as people may think  *  I can be selfless  *  I am terrible with money  *  I take anti-depressants  *  I tend to over-commit to things (and people)  *  Sometimes I’m a people pleaser to a fault  *  I don’t enjoy exercise and my weight continues to be a major battle for me  *  I yell  *  I have a food addiction  *  I haven’t found balance in my life.  I tend to put my “job” on a higher priority than it should be  *  I don’t always hear when I’m listening  *  I lose my temper  *  I pick fights with my husband  *  I tend to try to be a friend to more people than I should  *  I think I’m right way more often than I really am  *  I worry about what people think about me, even when those people don’t matter to me.

There’s a starter list for you.  I could go on for much longer I’m sure, but those are the basics.  If there’s something more you want to know about who I am, just ask.  All that I ask in return is that you accept me for me – faults and all.  If my faults and sins that make up who I am are too overwhelming for you to embrace me as a whole, that’s ok.  I strongly suggest that you move on in life and not try to do me a favor by pretending to be a friend.  We all have standards and expectations of people in our lives.  I am a real, broken, every day, struggling, optimistic human being.  That’s all I can promise you.  You don’t have to agree with me, you just have to accept me.

I promise to do the same…

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5 thoughts on “This is me.

  1. I think you’re a wonderful, talented human being just like I am. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. SO? That’s life. LOVE YOU ANYWAY!

  2. I am honored to know you! You are not alone in your sins. You are imperfect and that in itself, makes you perfect in God’s eyes. I still struggle. I am at an awful plateau…I may never get past that hurdle and I am no longer going to let that focus be taunting me 24/7. It is what it is. I will make each day an honest attempt to be a better me. I yell. I melt-down… I cry… I get angry. I know I am right.. I am wrong and don’t want to admit it. I worry WWAAYY too much!! I am not 20 anymore.. I want to be 30 again!! I am getting OLD… I am scared, I am happy, I feel tired, I have anxiety… I take Prozac.. I used to smoke.. I want to smoke again… I miss drinking beer, never was a heavy drinker, but liked the taste… I HATED the Army for MANY reasons… I am proud of my husband for his service and dedication.. I feel like I am EVERYONE’s mother at my home… I want to get a job.. WHERE ARE THE JOBS IN CLARKSVILLE?? Am I too old??? I can relate!! I am honored to be your friend!! Love n hugs, April!! Have a wonderful Wednesday!! Let’s meet for coffee or lunch SOON!! 🙂

  3. You are a strong and amazing woman, April. I hope you never forget those things. We all have struggles and shortcomings; we all have things about us that are not what we would wish for them to be and we all fail others without even trying sometimes. Your transparency in this situation is so touching. It is so refreshing to see someone who isn’t putting forth a fake persona like so many others do on the internet. Do you know what I like most about you, April? You’re easy to relate to, you’re real, you aren’t afraid to be yourself, for starters. 🙂 Thank you for sharing your heart, that couldn’t have been easy.

  4. Nobody is perfect and if they say they are, they are lying. I think you are a terrific person, faults and all. I know I can relate to many of the descriptions you wrote about yourself. And remember they aren’t really “faults,” afterall they are what make you YOU!

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